By Carolyn Torres-Mabe — Everyone knows that the children’s interest should come first in a divorce. However, it is easy to get bogged down in the emotional turmoil of a divorce and lose sight of what is best for the children.
Some parents may want to divide a holiday in a complicated fashion, dictate who gets to take the children to Disney first, or have a rigid communication provision during the time the children are with the other parent.
In the event an issue related to physical or legal custody must be determined by a judge, the legal standard is what is in the best interests of the children. While this standard seems like an obvious one, it can be difficult for parents to determine what is in the children’s best interests objectively.
Just the idea of divorce is hard on children, and the adjustment to two households should be as seamless as possible.
Picking the children up from school rather than from the other parents can reduce stress and separation anxiety for children. Not being shuffled from household to household on a holiday or birthday can create a more harmonious celebration for the children.
Allowing children to select their extracurricular activity not only gives children the ability to control a part of their own lives, but also can reduce friction between contentious parents. Reducing your child’s stress must be your priority.